Part 1 - remisunderstaning

(note: I didn't intend to do a multi-part post... it just sorta happened that way. And since Matt did it, I might as well too...)

Does it ever seem like you have the same conversations with someone over and over again? It's not like you intend to do it, but when you're talking with someone and a certain topic comes up, the conversation always seems to turn out the same way. There are these little built in filters and biases that seem to come up again and again, no matter how hard we try and no matter how hard we wish they wouldn't, and no matter how much we promise and swear that we'll be different next time... we never are.

This becomes especially important to me as I get closer to the birth of my first child. Part of God's covenant promises to His people is that the sins will be visited on generation after generation, in the same way that blessings will be visited. I'm not one to see God keeping a score card and promising to visit His wrath on innocent children because of the schmucks that we are, but I'm starting to see that these filters become part of the DNA that we pass on to the future generations.

There's a poverty mentality, there's an entitlement mentality, there's a victim mentality, there's a "gotta get mine" mentality, and seemingly innocent and otherwise wise and gracious people seem to show up with these blind spots that color their whole lives. How do we go about addressing things that are as deep, personal, and seemingly unchosen as our blod type?

The implications for this are everywhere... I think of the things I picked up from my parents that are now vital parts of who I am. I'm an incurable Astro's fan, for instance (it's not as bad as being a Cubs fan). I didn't choose it, but I also can't un-choose it without great cost and sacrifice.

In the great game of getting along and moving forward, these biases and unconscious tendencies make communication difficult. I will unwittingly pass along my ideas of who God is and what He wants from me to those I talk to. It's not so clear cut as what I say, it's as much about how I say it. I think understanding the reasons that we misunderstand, or even understanding THAT we misunderstand is a step in a direction. But it's a daunting task, calling for the greatest humility and grace, to sit at the proverbial table with others who we feel need to hear our message but who may not even be able to hear what we have to say in the way that we want to say it.