Surprising Surprises

Alright, I have to admit... when I started this whole "surprise me" bit, I expected something totally different than what I'm getting. I expected every sunset to be a tapestry of pastels where the houses and development would disappear and the horizon would be clear and beautiful into infinity. I expected the blue jays to whistle amazing grace outside my window and be random $100 checks in my mailbox every other day just because God is so cool and sweet and wants to bless me... SURPRISE!!

Boy, am I stupid sometimes.

Of course, in the midst of this journey has been the best surprise I can imagine. My son Jackson came, and my life is different forever. But that's the segue to the greater surprise... I'm not really that different at all. In fact, where ever I go, there I am. That's what sucks about the surprise.

The greatest surprise for me so far (I'm calling this day 4, but mostly because for the previous 10 days I've been totally oblivious to everything but the baby. I'm holding to the theological position that my 30 day surprise me experiment doesn't have to be 30 literal days. Maybe 30 epochs. You understand I'm sure) has been how graciously and relentlesly God pursues this holiness thing. Today I'm surprised that it's not just the physical holiness of doing all the right things, but emotional spiritual holiness as well.

A great indication of how this is borne out is through this new college gathering that's starting to gain a head of steam. Monday we had our first gathering of the summer at a coffee house. There were 16 students there and I was amazed at their hunger. I borrowed heavily from Kyle Lakes telling of the story of Cornelius and Peter. My point (different from Kyle's) was that both Cornelius and Peter were doing the things that they did (Cornelius was being the devout gentile, Peter was being the kosher Jew) but the hilight of the story was God's infusion and reworking of those things. Cornelius' piety wasn't important and Peter's diet wasn't important, what was important was the way God infused himself into those things and reworked them. My challenge to them to step back and evaluate their "things" and when the last time God infused Himself into those things. If they've been infusion-less for a little while, perhaps (probably) the problem isn't with God.

The surprise came in the hours since. I've got this gnawing sense that I'm heading the right direction, but that I'm trying to lead these kids to a place I haven't gone. It's been easy to talk about paradigms and experiments and radical God-lives. I've also been blessed with a certain amount of charisma, so I can make those discussions exciting and challenging and people may leave ready to take on the world.

But how many of my own faulty, outdated, even archaic God-ideas are gathering dust unchallenged on the shelves of my brain. Truth be told, my theology is too much theory. I need a God-infusion too. The sense that I get is that God won't "let" me be the carrier of this message if I'm not fully immersed in it.

So I'm realizing that surprises require more of me that I expected. God wants to show up in my life, but He doesn't want to show up and leave things as they are. Surprisingly enough, these dawnings in my brain are the most exciting spiritual musings I've had in a long time. These are God-infused moments for me. The implications are exciting. As I walk through these ideas with these amazingly passionate, talented, enthusiastic kids... it's truly a journey together. God's given me a chance to truly be a part of a community of people who are walking with me... right along side of me. That's surprising in its comfort.

Thank you for not just being a God of appeasement. Thank you for not glossing over the uncomfortable things. I need a lot of help, because some of the stuff that's surfacing is hard to look at. There are things that I can't imagine you would want any part of. That's scary because I think that if you don't want those things, then you won't want the package they come in. Help me be honest with you, and give you the things that even I don't want. Let me not miss your call to holiness, just because I'd rather think about your grace & mercy.