Surprise me. Day 0

My lovely wife... she's sweeter than I have any right to be involved with. She told me last week that she got me a present. I'm horribly impatient, so I kept badgering her about what it was, but she's a vault. So yesterday I show up at work and there's a padded envelope in my inbox. Inside are 2 books. Dave Crowder's Praise Habit, and Terry Esau's Surprise Me. That's one of the differences between she and me. She's thoughtful, and realizes not only that the quickest way to my heart is through a book, but she knows that Amazon.com has the keys to my heart on file in my wishlist.

So today I started Surprise Me. I'm going to do the experiment. It couldn't come at a better time for me. Academically I'm convinced of the truth, but evidence of the gi-normous chasm between my brain and my heart, the reality of my life right now indicates that God is less interested in surprise, and more interested in mindless rote and endless fatigue. This book and this experiment seem like a good way to challenge that assumption.

So I begin. Today is day 1... entry zero. Tomorrow, entry 1, will chronicle today's events. I like it that way, it gives me time to reflect and hopefully take it all in. Like Esau (the author, not Jacob's brother), I come in with a bit of a timid heart. As it is right now, the unproven promises of God are easy enough to put out there. I've never PROVEN them false, so surely they must be true. What if at the end of 30 days I have no new insights, no new stories to tell, and absolutely nothing God-wise to speak of? Well, the encouragement then is that I will have atleast proven that God doesn't want to be involved in my life, and I can get on with the business of life in light of that truth.

But I'm at the point where I have to do something. I am not the kind of guy who can go through the motions very well. I only have 2 speeds -- 100 miles/minute to the left, or 100 miles/minute to the right. I don't have stop and I don't have slow. Not that there aren't times of slowing down and meditating, but the point is that I am a horrible company man. I don't just listen to music, I put my education and my future in jeopardy so I can follow Phish around the country for a year... you get the idea.

So I'm at that point in my faith where I feel like I've truly swung on a lot of the ropes that "lead to God" and I don't want to be on a rope anymore. I want God. I don't put any of the blame on Him. I'm a realist enough to know that I haven't tried God and found Him wanting, I haven't nearly tried enough.

So that's where this experiment comes in. Not that it's my attempt to find where God is. On the contrary, I'm just wanting to open my eyes to see what He tells me is true (see Romans 1:20). I just had a conversation with a guy whose been on a really tough road lately. A lot... the vast majority even... of it is of his own doing. Bad situations brought on by a succession of bad choices, but I look at him now, and people have reached out and helped. He doesn't really see it, but it's there none the less. I don't see God that way too many times. I feel like God's looking for a chance to squash me... rather than seeing how God continually reaches out to people, even when they don't pretend to make so much as a nod in His direction.

So here goes. Surprise me, God.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-- Robert Frost