Start

First blog ever... unless you count myspace (myspace.com/staringatthewalls) and livejournal (phisherofmen) which I obviously don't, because I just called this my first blog ever. You see how it goes then?

On the subject of starting, last night I had the great privilege of playing a part in starting a college gathering... My lovely wife and I in a room with 4 college students who want to see God do something in a way that they've never seen before. What a rush, just to be in that kind of environment.

The crazy part for me was the starting part. I've never started something from scratch like that. I've been sort of... an interceptor... if you will. I usually come in after the foundation has been laid, but before there's an unwieldy mega-structure to contend with. So this was new ground for me and I have to admit that I found myself in an interesting place where my natural tendencies (call it... personality) crashed into some things that I've called beliefs... even convictions.

My personality is to be a mover. I don't have any problem swooping in, and helping people get where they want to be, or helping them figure out where they want to be. My tendency is to have a plan and execute it. Call it leadership, call it pushy, call it whatever. It is what it is.

My belief and conviction is that the Church is the living Body of Christ on Earth. My conviction is that when it comes to Church and the people who compose it, there's another leader who is the Way.

Leonard Sweet wrote a book on leadership in the post-modern matrix (honestly, I'm not a big fan of Sweet's writing. His ideas are great, I just don't do well with his style. It seems a bit forced. But, here I am using his ideas... what a tangled web we weave). Sweet wants to shift the leadership metaphor from "visioning" to "listening." To be a leader in the church of a post-modern generation means to fully grasp and apply the reality that the Church is not "MY" anything, but it is instead the manifestation of Christ to the world. The paradigm isn't seeing what no one else sees, but hearing the voice that says, "I am over here. Follow me."

The "leadership" paradigm shift hit me hard last night. I walked in with some ideas about what it might look like, but I had no context for even being in something like I feel God calling me to, much less helping lay the foundation for it. So I walked into the room with 5 other people who I believe hear from God, we opened the book of Acts and we listened to God speak.

We all walked out amazed, then we went to Taco Cabana (where we didn't encounter pineapple salsa, Matt Singleton will be proud to know). I was maybe the most amazed, because what I saw caused my personality and my conviction to move closer to harmony.

The reality that I faced, if I'm heading up, leading, and creating something it will never be greater than I. Regardless of where you feel I fall on the greatness scale (somewhere between "poopy" and "kidney stones"), it is definitely somewhere short of eternal and transcendant. So anything I create by the force of my personality or character will necessarily fall short. However, if leading means listening and following the One who is Eternally Transcendant... then something truly magical may yet emerge.

So as I woofed my tortillas and queso, I was content, because I still didn't have to run the universe, and I felt like I had the chance to ride shotgun for awhile with the Guy who was. Not bad for an evening with friends.